Thank You, Angel

Been in the library studying for a few hours (across from a cute Yale med student).
An older gentleman walks up to me out of nowhere, leans over the short raised part of my "cubicle" where I'm typing, and says, "Excuse me." I look up. He says, "During this time of year, when the wind blows and the air gets chilled, squirrels and sparrows alike begin to chase around some round objects on the ground. Do you know why?" I slowly shake my head, with an appropriate look of wonder and curiousity. "Because they are NUTS."
I giggle hesitatantly. HE is nuts.
He then says, "When a baby ghost got lost in the fog, its family and friends were very upset. Can you think of a 4 OR 6 letter word that describes how they felt?" I slowly shake my head, feeling very disappointed in myself. I can't think of it. I'm reaching far back in the mind. Nope. Nothin'. He encourages me. "Think hard. Two different words that sound the same. Here's a hint...one means the same thing as FOG." I try very hard. Cloud? Smoke? No, Catherine, no. You're an idiot. I can't believe they let you into med school. You should have worked harder on those crossword puzzles in Europe instead of constantly flipping to the back to "check" your answers. Cloud? No, you already thought that! I sadly and VERY disappointedly shake my head. "I'm afraid I'm not very good at these," I sadly admit to the crazy scary white-bearded man with wide-spaced teeth and frighteningly large and engaging eyes. He smiles. "They mist/missed him."
I sigh. I don't deserve to live.
He encourages me. "That's okay. Here, I'll give you one you will DEFINITELY get." My heart starts racing. That's the worst thing he could possibly say. Now I MUST get the answer right or it will prove beyond any doubt that I am a fool. Right there in front of Mr. Yale, who was probably answering each one in his mind so quickly and wondering to himself at the low acceptance standards Miami has for their medical students these days. The man says, "A young and handsome magnet took a lady magnet out to dinner on a date. He said to her across the dinner table...'My dear, I find you very ______.'" I think hard and fast. I'm a little sweaty, even. The word ATTRACTIVE pops in my mind instantly but for some reason I don't believe it could be that easy. I think harder. Magnetic? Is that stupid? That's stupid. I finally go out on the limb with my first instinct. "Attractive...?" He smiles victoriously. "YES! You've GOT it!"
He walks away triumphantly without looking back and I wonder if I've just been visited by a very fat, white-haired, socially inept angel who decided to make my day. Even if he ruined my chances with Mr. Yale, who apparently would have been our one hope at the genius children I've been dreaming of.

Original Passion

Struggling with the darkness of loneliness tonight. Unfortunately (or fortunately), that doesn't provide much in the way of blogging material. So, moving on to Struggle Number Two... Been wondering a lot lately if I ever have original passion. Beginning to realize how much goes over my head, in the way of innuendo or opinion. Always seem to see both sides of the argument; even can usually ARGUE both sides of the argument, sometimes with almost equal conviction. Used to think that meant I was reasonable. Not so sure anymore. Can't even guess at how many countless times I have walked out of a church service, a class, or a simple conversation with a group of people, who were all riled up about something that was said or insinuated, only to realize that I had no idea that I was supposed to have been offended. Maybe I'm just an idiot. Funny, cause I kinda thought I erred on the side of argumentative, but now that I think about it, I wonder if I've EVER taken up a cause I believed in that I came to believe on my own. Not that I think I have original thought or anything. Don' t think that's really possible for any of us anymore, unless we're inventing cold fusion or something else big and scary. But I also am starting to think that half the stuff I am so very passionate about is because the people I love and admire are passionate about those same things. Of course, not ALL of them believe in ALL the things I believe in at the same time, but you get what I mean. Had a great Bible teacher I loved and respected...poof, I'm part-Calvinist. Had a volleyball coach I adored who drilled in my head that we stop working when we die and not a day sooner... bam, I don't believe in the idea of retirement. Had a dad who was a police officer for twenty-three years...waalaa, I think firemen do 1/10 the work a police officer does. Interesting, now that I'm looking back. MAYBE the reason I "copy" these people's beliefs is because I admire their character and integrity and want to be like them, so I adopt things that unconsciously I agree with because of the PERSON who is promoting it. That's not so bad, probably; but it kind of seems like that's acceptable only up to a certain age, like, five or something. Then again, I know that mentoring is a good idea, and Biblical in fact, so I guess it's okay. On the other hand, why do I care what the Bible says to start with? Lots of answers pop up, but quite frankly, since I was a baby, people I loved and who loved me, made the Book out to be kind of a big deal. So I've never thought differently. Granted, I have my own reasons now, but still, wonder if/when/how I would have come to these same conclusions, if at all, given different circumstances/people. Put a little girl to bed tonight I was babysitting who told me she has never said prayers and didn't want to. Kinda think that's a huge tragedy, given that her parents had the opportunity to shape this mind they were given charge of, a mind that is so incredibly responsive to their leading right now, to love God, and they're kinda blowing it. So I'm kinda torn, because on one hand I (in humility) realize that God's sovereignty and shaping of my mind through the people in my life has brought me to this point with Him; on the other hand, my ego sort of wishes I was brilliant enough to see/discern/understand all things, or at least some things, okay, or even just ONE thing, on my own. Which probably puts me back at the original SIN, of wanting to be like God. Hmm... kinda coming full circle here. Somehow I have a strong feeling that I need to finish up my study of Ecclesiastes pretty soon...